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Curb the Cussing

How to Cure Your Preteen's Foul Mouth

By Carma Haley Shoemaker

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Find a Substitute

As swearing can breed negativity, parents should strive to help their child overcome these feelings and find an alternate method of expressing emotion – whatever emotion it may be. "Using crazy words that no one has ever heard of, as well as common words used out of their normal context takes the emphasis off the negativity and puts it more on the expression of what the teen is feeling," O'Connor says. "People feel that if a word or phrase is silly or crazy, that others will look at them funny and think they are nuts, but in all actuality, these expressions offer the same amount of emphasis to the expression of disgust, anger or frustration – whatever the case may be – without being offensive or negative."

Sue Poremba, an editor from State College, Pa., recalls her mother using the word "fudge" as a substitute. "She said it was more polite," Poremba says. "When I was in high school, the phrase 'Holy Birds' became very popular as a replacement for swearing."

Some kids create alternative words that enable them to speak and express their emotions freely without the risk of penalties for bad language. "We all have little brothers or sisters who we can't cuss around and we can't swear on the bus or at school, so we kind of invented our own. Words like 'shoobers' or 'hoobie-doobie' can be heard all the time," says Alec Shoemaker, a preteenager from Chester, Va. "Yeah, maybe the way we use them is the same as other people use cuss words, but our words don't get us in trouble."


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