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Curb the Cussing
How to Cure Your Preteen's Foul Mouth
By Carma Haley Shoemaker
Parents who want to rid their children's vocabulary of swearing should ask their children why they feel they need to say these words. "Why do you use these words?" is a good question to initiate conversation to find the cause of an inappropriate vocabulary.
The answer may or may not be what parents are expecting. "Most kids indicate they swear because their friends swear, because they want to be cool or because they want to fit in," O'Connor says. "We've gotten to the point in society where we need to show strength, macho-ism – even the girls. It's rough out there, so we have to show we are tough and we don't take any crap from anybody. The use of foul language is related with being tough, rough and ready for whatever comes along."
Yet the use of "bad" language when trying to be cool or to fit in with a crowd can actually result in the opposite of what was hoped for, O'Connor says. Preteenagers may need to reconsider what "being cool" is all about.
"Being cool means you have control – you have emotional control," O'Connor says. "Being cool is when you find solutions when everyone else is complaining. You think of a way out or an easier way of doing things even when upset. When everyone else is upset,you think of a positive angle to everything – that's being cool. If you do that, you are going to be cool, you are going to be respected and people are going to say he or she has a good head on his or her shoulders."
