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Home › Articles › Relationships › Learning to Let Go

Learning to Let Go

Why Growing Up Is Hard on You

By Gwen Morrison

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As much as we want our children to grow and mature, it can be difficult to allow them the privileges that go along with that growth. As they enter their teenage years, it can be a difficult transition for both parent and child.

"This age gives parents two feelings: fear that the child is going to mess up or get hurt and joy and amazement that the butterfly is emerging from the cocoon as if by magic," Raymond says. "There's pride and love in there, too."

A Parent's Role
Maurice J. Elias, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J., and co-author of Raising Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers: Guiding the Way to Committed, Courageous, Compassionate Adults (Three Rivers Press, 2002), feels that it is important for parents to be clear about their own emotions. "Our own feelings of hesitation or trepidation need not be transmitted onto our children," he says. "Ideally, we want them leaving with a sense of confidence, excitement and enthusiasm."

Elias reminds parents that it is important for teenagers to know that Mom and Dad are interested in what they are doing, that they share in their accomplishments, but young adults will need to find their own way.

It can be equally stressful and emotional for teenagers to discover that there are a lot of things that are expected of them at their age. The cutting of the cord can go both ways. Some teenagrs are hesitant to make decisions without a parent's help, and as parents, we have to be careful not to dismiss these feelings of apprehension.

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